The Feminist Take On Life

First published on Facebook: Friday, May 16 at 10:13pm

There has never been a time in my life when I questioned whether or not I was a feminist, but many people have questioned me on the matter. The question puzzles me because it was never really a conscious decision. That's the beauty of it, I suppose. I was born this way and chose to remain this way. That doesn't mean that being this way is easy. In fact, the feminist in me often places me into interesting situations that I have to fight my way back out of. Last summer was a test of how well I could do that...and I succeeded a lot, but failed a few times too. (Well, not so much...I dunno, the verdict is still dileberating on one moment last summer where I nearly failed and I beat myself up for putting myself there. In the end, though, I learned my lesson and avoided the next situation like that. I guess that's life, no?)

My problem this year is that I feel trapped into doing nothing. And I hate that. There are so many things happening around me that do not correspond to what I think should be happening - what I want to fight against - but I never want to take the stance and fight against it. I don't know why that is. Perhaps last year pushed me so far that I can ignore everything that irritates me because I feel like it's not gonna make a difference. Except that it might have. I have done little things to make things more apparent. And I'm gonna leave my mark on some of these people. I know this because it was the little things that people did to me in my past that made me the person that I am today.

It was not until 2nd year of uni that I realized my mom worked when I was younger because we were working class. I just thought that's what women do. I suppose that's also the farming background too. My grandma might have been in the house the wholeady while grandpa and his sons were in the fields or shops, but that didn't mean she wasn't contributing to the family income. But that's just a preliminary level of feminism. That's second-wave feminism. And, yes, there are still some places in this world when you have to call on second-wave feminism 'cause people just don't get it yet. I mean, seriously, the Feminist Mystique was over fifty years ago, why do people still struggle with the concept of women working?!? Why does the glass ceiling still exist? These things infuriate me, but also because I am beyond that point. I'm more into third-wave feminism, which depending on whether you take the media approach to it or the academic, I think it varies. The media approach focuses on the sexual revolution, which is valid. The academic approach, in my opinion, focuses on racism, disability, sexuality and all forms of prejudice...and often the media is involved in their criticism, 'cause let's face it, the media is often our worst enemy.

Basically, my view is that we all deserve equal opprotunity to discover ourselves and what we want to be in this world. I feel I got short-changed on this at a younger age, so I've been thrilled to work with kids this year who have so many opportunities to discover what the enjoy doing at a young age. But, my feminist side noticed right away that not everything was open to them.

First of all, there is sport, which at the age of 8 is divided by gender. That annoyed me so much when I got here because it annoyed me when I was younger. I remember fighting, as much as the coaches felt was appropriate, to get more funding for our softball team. The boys had uniforms and new equipment while the town could barely give us enough money to get jerseys or new bases. We were top of our league, too, whereas the boys were good, but just a little farm team. To be less than a little farm team was rough, and apparently had a huge effect on me, 'cause I'm not even sporty and the fact that the girls don't play football here annoys me.

Last term and a few times in my first term, I worked towards getting the girls to play, and it might have worked. I was actually asked earlier this week if we could get the girls to play against the boys at football, but sadly the playground time was over. I was also feeling a bit sick and wearing flip-flops, so I didn't mind too much that there was no time for it. And then, today, feeling better and wearing shoes again, I began playing with the boys as soon as they came out, but there were no girls. How'm I gonna change their world if they're not there to have it changed?

Another things that irritates me here is that no male member of staff is allowed on the Girls' Landing, yet my room is located at the end of the Boys' Landing. So, I'm not a potential predator for the boys, but every male member of staff has to be protected against being called a potential predator. This is not just all of last year's theory coming back on me when I have to scream HETERONORMATIVE DOUBLE STANDARD! No, I wish that nobody would hurt these young individuals in a sexual manner, but Marie Stopes would turn over in her grave if she knew that I did not point out how "harmful" young women's affections towards young girls could be...perhaps even more "harmful" than men's. And that treatise is over eighty years old!!!

But perhaps these books do not have the effect on society that they have had on me. Well, in fact, I do believe it is more the theory than anything else that has me yelling Heteronormative anything. And this is not the first place, nor the last where I will find that double standard. It's sad, really, that girls also have to be the victims of these double standards, but never recognized as the cause. I am no better myself. But I think I'm getting better at it...

I had some happy thoughts this evening about returning home. In fact, I am even beginning to look forward to next fall and the possibilities of it all. (Actually, what I would give to be able to walk down Whyte on my day off tomorrow, rather than being stuck in drizzly, drabby, "no good coffee shops" rural England. But I have a half term left here, and thinking like that will only make me sad. I need to embrace what I can do while still here rather than wish that I was already gone. So, yes, next fall I want to get involved more (although time and money become an issue right away - $%^£!) in the feminist movement, but I also need to think about what I'm doing here. How am I helping these children (and not just the girls) think more positively about the gender divide? I know that I puch the vegetarian thing at them whenever I eat with them, but we've never actually broached the feminist thing. I need to do that...ever so slightly.

A few weeks ago, I felt like I was helping. I stood up for the girls and I had a good chat with one of them about herself being beautiful - inside and out. I just have to keep that up. Those are the feel-good moments I want to take away from here. Those are the feel-good moments I wrote to Angy about last term. Those are the feel-good moments that will keep me working with kids in the future. I want to keep those feel-good moments.